Day 2

Last night, I asked Xavier what he planned to accomplish in the morning. He responded with "Shower & Unshower." Homeschooling is going well. We are in the middle of creating our own language. It is a thing that happens when people spend too much time together.

12:38pm - Xavier emerged from his bedroom for breakfast. He started to make pancakes. They were not cooperating with him. The first few he burned, the next one stuck to the pan. First freakout of the quarantine.

01:07pm - I offered to finish making the pancakes. He took them in his room.

04:33pm - I go to check on him. He was asleep, the meltdown was a good one. We walk the garbage to the road and check the mail together. This counts as workout, check mail, go outside, chore and family time. Because today is rough. He reads his Bible verse of the day. All that is left is hygiene. He goes back to his bedroom.


The TRUTH is today is hard. Reality is starting to sink in. I have been living this life of doing online school, saying yes to daytime activities and being fully present to being a mom most nights. This has been how my life has been since September. It's hard to get used to X being here, ALL THE TIME. The stress came out over pancakes, so I think it's hard for him to get used to being here too, with just me. Even if he thinks he'd rather be homeschooled.

I was really overwhelmed this morning between the group chats and everyone in the world who is also adjusting to these changes. Social distancing feels the same for my physically, but there's a part of this that is informational/emotional overload. It's not distance, not for an introvert, Enneagram 5/6. I talked to a few people to help me prioritize my life. I need a filter to process these requests.

I'm a mom, sober support, student and friend in that order. It helps me to know what gets my yes in any moment to have a list like this. I cried today a little, and then I went & started a mini-podcast with my friend. A trial-run of sorts. It makes little sense & so much sense. This is what the Upside-Down feels like to me. So right, so weird.

Unshower means to dry off with a towel. Not to get dirty, which was my first thought.